Another addition to our alternative holiday movie viewing! Don’t Open Til’ Christmas falls into the “Its so bad its good” category. This ridiculously cheesy British Production features a serial killer that only kills Santa’s. The dialogue is horrendously bad. The opening scene finds 2 lovers making out in a car when they notice that there’s a heavy breathing lunatic watching them the man gets upset to which his woman says “oh don’t worry about him:” Apparently she’s an exhibitionist. On top of that we have really awful breaks in logic. Our Leading lady Kate’s father is killed at a Christmas party. The next day her boyfriend takes her to a friends place trying to get her to pose for nude photos and maybe some lesbian action with another model! She’s going along with it until she sees a Santa suit and is reminded that her father died the day previous. She leaves but the boyfriend, who’s also a suspect, sticks around for a little action with the model. Talk about a sensitive guy!

After 3 Santa killings the cops are still trying to figure out the pattern. No kidding! One of them says: “do you think we have a psycho on our hands?” to when the lead inspector replies “early to find a pattern.” Right so the fact that all of them were Santa’s isn’t a pattern? Priceless!

The storyline gets convoluted with the killer trying to sway the investigation and indicate the lead inspector played by the Director Edmund Perdom who is just awful but in a hilarious way. When we do find out why the killer is psycho we discover he’s another child traumatized by seeing his dad, dressed as Santa, having sex at a party. What is it about sex that seems to drive kids to grow up to be killers?

Make no mistake that this movie is bad, really really bad. But the dialogue, lack of logic and bizarreness of it makes it worth watching. It even has a horrible soundtrack complete with bad disco music and lots of shaky camera work. Don’t Open til Christmas is Fantastic!